i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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