Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks

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(905): View more from Toronto

Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I wish i was in the wii world.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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(937): View more from Ohio

she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake

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