Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck the hobbit

(301): View more from Maryland

what about unicorns?

(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck those pointy horses

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(732): fuck the hobbit (301): what about unicorns? (732): fuck those pointy horses http://tfl.nu/k7om

Replies (9) Good night (2694) Bad night (764)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!

(864): View more from South Carolina

Because men are children

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Touche

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(832): Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child! (864): Because men are children (832): Touche http://tfl.nu/qtuf

Replies (217) Good night (1462) Bad night (3572)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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(501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date??? http://tfl.nu/obkl

Replies (30) Good night (6419) Bad night (1237)
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(407): View more from Florida

I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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(407): I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through. http://tfl.nu/kavy

Replies (25) Good night (5820) Bad night (579)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

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(540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la

Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (1541)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I had to brake up with him.

(602): View more from Arizona

In my experience drinking helps.

(480): View more from Arizona

You dont want to know why?

(602): View more from Arizona

Not really. I want to drink.

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(480): I had to brake up with him. (602): In my experience drinking helps. (480): You dont want to know why? (602): Not really. I want to drink. http://tfl.nu/mwqo

Replies (27) Good night (4665) Bad night (1052)
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(+61): View more from Australia

You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out

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(+61): You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out http://tfl.nu/lg4i

Replies (7) Good night (2142) Bad night (743)
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(916): View more from California

You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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(916): You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you. http://tfl.nu/ukeu

Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (1700)
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(+66): View more from Thailand

Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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(+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e

Replies (10) Good night (2289) Bad night (675)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.

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(317): Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina. http://tfl.nu/mqdf

Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (903)
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(904): View more from Florida

The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.

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(904): The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins. http://tfl.nu/2pe6

Replies (7) Good night (838) Bad night (407)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes

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(859): She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes http://tfl.nu/2ifp

Replies (6) Good night (803) Bad night (334)
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(478): View more from Georgia

So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.

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(478): So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando. http://tfl.nu/7jrk

Replies (6) Good night (888) Bad night (354)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.

(240): View more from Maryland

Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.

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(717): On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities. (240): Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing. http://tfl.nu/nf7v

Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (261)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.

(865): View more from Tennessee

How do you even...

(770): View more from Georgia

The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.

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(770): Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit. (865): How do you even... (770): The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course. http://tfl.nu/umgu

Replies (6) Good night (943) Bad night (271)

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