also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
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Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.