I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.