Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.

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(850): View more from Florida

Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager

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(217): View more from Illinois

Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

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(239): View more from Florida

Is Oprah even human

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.

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