wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
