Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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