you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
