Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
