I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dicks are not precious.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
