I'm pants shitting drunk right now
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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