Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
