32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
