ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
