Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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