id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
