sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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