Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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