Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize