ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
