Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
