you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
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Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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