Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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