You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we made out on top of his cat.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
