But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
