I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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