Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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