he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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