You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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