New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
