Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
