i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
