Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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