Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
