Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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