Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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