Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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