can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize