Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
