He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
