BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
