I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
