So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
