i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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