Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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