Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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