the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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