Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
