Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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