This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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