I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
