remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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