I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
