I'm lost and stupid without you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
