matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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