You're earring is so big in my mouth
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
