Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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