going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
