Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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