there was a trapeze. enough said
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
