I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
