Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
